caramelsilver | Christmas, that stupid thing I did at new years and my resolutions for 2011 (Reply)

First off: HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I HOPE 2011 WILL YOU GIVE YOU MORE JOY THAN 2010 DID!

So on a personal level this Christmas has majorly sucked! I’ve been sick straight through. And not the “Poor you, do you have a bad cough?”-sick. Oh no, this was fever, the most disgusting cough you’ve ever heard, body-aches, sore throat, no appetite, and no sense of taste or smell. I haven’t been this bad since I had the swine-flu a year ago. It really, really sucked. The worst day was 23th of December, I basically just lied on the sofa and tried not to die. Christmas Eve was a tad better, enough so I managed to sit at the table in a nice dress and eat a little. Christmas Day I slept through almost all of the family gathering. So yeah, Christmas, not so good. Which is why I haven’t been vocally around. I’ve been pretty much ignoring everything that required me to write. I have been keeping up with everything though and I’m glad everyone else had a good Christmas.

Then, let’s talk about New Years Eve. Because I did something incredibly stupid and my journal is the perfect way for me to tell someone about it without it having any impact on my life.

So what I did, without going into too much boring details is that I got really, really drunk and I texted the guy I have a big giant crush on. I opened with “Do you know what my new years resolution is?” and immediately regretted it. But since I was so drunk I had no filter or will to not do what I wanted to do which was to tell him how I feel.

So, I basically told him, through a series of messages that my new years resolution was to kiss him. Yes. I’m such an idiot. So, so stupid. His reply was this: “Hehe, oh really... :P” (Roughly translated.) I had previously told him how incredibly drunk I was, and why he didn’t stop me from saying something stupid I can only chalk up to him being very curious and drunk too...

That was the end of our talking that night, because I had to go puke my guts and alcohol out. Then I spent the first day of the year in total agony, both because I had not been blessed with amnesia, and I managed to fall down a very steep set of stairs, so my back is in so much pain right now.

Tonight I decided that I could not continue to live like this, because it was too painful. I needed to do something! So I fixed it. Kinda. Not really, but a bit, and I’m at least feeling way better now.

What I did was that first I texted him a simple “Hey”, just to check if he was still talking to me. It took him less than two minutes to reply. And then I apologized. I told him that I do stupid things while drunk and someone should take away my phone when I drink. Then he got to say that it’s okay and that I shouldn’t think about it and we talked some more about how stupid it is to drink and text. (We talked about all this without really mentioning what was stupid...) and I think we’re back to being friends. So hopefully, he’ll go back to pretending this never happened and I get to be awkwardly in love with my friend and we can both pretend that he doesn’t know that I want to kiss him!

So my hang-over angst is abating, which is good, now I can finally go back to being a normal human being, instead of this neurotic bundle of angsty mess I’ve been the last 40 hours.

Being on the topic of new years resolutions here are some of mine:

* Do not text and drink!

* Finish grade 13 (I like to have some goals I know I’ll make!)
* Go to London.
* See Les Miserables
* Read 25 books by September (and keep track of them here.)
* Write 10 fics
* Get one new good friend
* Work out at least once a month
* Keep writing letters
* Go to as many Stabæk (football) matches as possible
* Be a confirmation camp leader
* Go to church
* Go to the theatre

I’d rather not talk about last years resolutions since I didn’t manage to do all that many of them. I didn’t even manage to read forty books. I was three books short. This had been a bad reading year for me. Which, doesn’t really mean that it has been a bad year, because 2010 has been the best year of my life. I have done so many fun things because I wanted to do them. I got three new very good friends and I’m happy! I’m doing fairly good at school and I know what I want to study. (More on that later. It deserves a post of its own, I think.)

Happy things that happened in the end of 2010:

* I got Weeds season 1 on DVD from a friend!
* I got a North Face bag (those bag that you can carry like a backpack) from my grandparents!
* I saw Narnia!
* I exchanged Inception for the first season of Glee (I got two copies. Don’t worry, of course I own that badass movie!)
* I did not spend New Years Eve alone. I was kind of afraid I might. But I didn’t! And except the stupid things I ended up doing, I had a lot of fun! Kicked my brother’s ass in Sing Star for one :D
* My gorgeous new header given to me by the amazing, wonderful