caramelsilver: (Misc: Carro)
In the last year I have gotten a lot of new friends. And I realized that all my new shiny friends don't really know some (one) important stuff (thing) about me, because we became friends after it ended. Unless you did some lurking, then you won't get my references to my previous life.

Here's the thing: When I was fourteen I got sick. I had something called M.E or CFS= Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. It resulted in me being tired all the time, my muscles ached, my head was hurting all the fucking time and I could do absolutely nothing. This lasted for four years. For four years I didn't go to school, I almost didn't see my friends, and I did nothing of the things usual teenagers do.

All I did was sleep, eat, watch tv, read books and surf the internet. That's it.

When I discovered fanfiction in 2005, I had been sick for almost a year and it was a lifesaver. I cannot tell you how much fanfiction and fandom has meant to me the last five years. It cheered me up when nothing else did, it gave me something to do that didn't completely exhaust me. I could lie in my bed and still have fun! After a year of reading fanfiction, I started to write my own. When I joined LJ it was the most amazing thing ever. I got new friends who liked me for me, and didn't care that I was sick, because it wasn't an issue when it came to internet friendships. They encouraged me and made me laugh. This was at a time where I had no social life at all in RL. I had lost all my friends because I was no fun to be around. Only my best friend and a few amazing boys bothered to spend time with me. (Ironically I lost touch with the boys after I got well again!)

Then in 2008, I got well again. It happened so quickly, I did a course that completely cured me. And I started school again, I suddenly became fun again. If you go through the archives on my journal you can see a huge difference in my posts. They actually became fun to read. And I got a ton of new friends!

So now you know what I'm talking about when I say things like: “Trust me, I know being sick sucks.” or “When I was sick I...” or “WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT 2005!” This is also the reason why I'm still at school. Had I been a normal kid I should be travelling around the world, or be in the military or just studying at UNI. But I'm still at school, and I will sadly be for two more years.

Ask any questions you may have. I will gladly answer them=)
caramelsilver: (bitch please)
It's very draining to be at home now. On Sunday it is my little brother's confirmation, and my mum is in a frenzie. Decorations, food, cakes, everything has to be perfect. And I haven't finished my speech. I don't know what to do. I know what I want to say, but I can't get it down on paper....bah! So yeah.

In good news: I'm finally going to the hospital to get a diagnose and treatment! Yay, next Wednesday and thursday. I'm a little bit nervous, but happy. Maybe things will go a little quicker now.

Yay!

Jun. 8th, 2007 05:09 pm
caramelsilver: (squishy)
The last couple of weeks have been so great! I haven't had a headache for ages:D I have so much energy, I don't sleep as much, and I've started thinking about what I eat! It is so hot here. I'm walking around in my bikini, and I'm still melting away. I am so happy. I'm really hoping that I'm starting to get better. Maybe this is the end. Maybe I can start school this fall and finish first year=)

I'm leaving tonight and I'm so restless. I keep going trough my packing list checking if I have forgotten something. Of course, I'm sure I've packed too much!
caramelsilver: (you suck)
This week has been like hell. I have been having so much pain. My head, muscles and back are mean to me. I have slept almost the entire week, but it doesn't help. I think that when I spend a lot of time alone, (Which I've been this week) I get worse. My head hurts so much, I can't concentrate. And on top of that, I am soooo bored!!


On another note: Is it only me that don't get any e-mail alerts from ff.net?
caramelsilver: (you suck)
Life sucks! I can't sleep at night and the sleep you get in the day aren't as good as the eight hours at night. I'm really depressed, and I don't eat all that much either.

A whole lot of whining in norwegian, since I don't have the energy to translate! )

On an other note.... The snow is finally here. Lots and lots! But its really cold too. I am always freezing.
caramelsilver: (Snark)
First off; Happy new year!! I hope to God that this year will be better than the (two) last.
I had a not quite miserable new year celebration, but I can't say that its one of the best. I haven't been feeling very good the last weeks, so I guess that has had an impact on everything.

If I was to have a new year resolution it would be; to take my vitamins everyday. That's reasonable and it should be easy. (I know that I won't be able to remember to take them everyday. Besides I hate to take vitamins) But they are very important, so I will try very hard to hold this resolution!

M.E

Dec. 17th, 2006 01:36 am
caramelsilver: (Default)
When Tasha ([livejournal.com profile] contessanatasha) asked me what kind of sickness I have, I realized that I have never really told you. I've just said that I've been sick for two years, and it makes my head hurt. So here it is:

I have M.E, I have had it for two years. It started when I hit my head two and a half years ago. I thought I had a concussion, but the headache never really stopped. I was able to make it go away for awhile but then it would come back. In January 2005 the headache wouldn't go away. No matter what I did. Painkillers didn't work anymore, and different treatments didn't work either. I had headaches every hour of everyday for a year. This year though, I started to get pains in my muscle's and body. I started getting more tired, and the headaches weren't there all the time. My sickness changed. Personally, I'm not sure if its for the better. I sleep alot! But this year (after the summer) I've been able to do a little homework. A little is better than nothing:) I've lost 1 1/2 year of schooling. I think that I'm starting to get better. Not much, but things starts to look a little better!

Tasha, I hope this answers your question? It made me very happy that you asked!
caramelsilver: (Default)
It's true! When ever it's bad weather outside I feel like crap. Especially when its fuggy and wet. My head gets really heavy (no other way to describe it) and its hard to move my body. Thank god, for acupuncture, no matter how grotesque it sounds to stick needles into a body to fix things, it actually work... a lot! I wouldn't been able to do anything today if I hadn't had treatment. When I woke up this morning I had so much trouble getting out of bed. I was not fun to be around.

On a happier note; My mum and I are going to the movies tomorrow- Just the two of us, I can't wait. We are going to watch "The Devil Wears Prada", we've been talking about going for a long time. So today I decided that we are going to go in the middle of the week since we never have time in the weekends. I really hope that tomorrow will be a good day for me. =)

PS! It snowed yesterday, but today it started to rain so now there is only slush!

Mad

Nov. 7th, 2006 04:42 am
caramelsilver: (I don't give a damn)
Argh!
sometimes I get so mad. People tend to forget that I'm sick, or what my sickness entails. I get tired at the weirdest times of the day. I might sleep all night and the following day. But sometimes I can't sleep at all. I'm okay with that, 'cause I've gotten used to it. With all the sleeping I do, it has to turn out hat way sometimes. But then people forget, so when I don't go to bed (because I know that I'm not going to get any sleep anyway) they get mad at me. Don't they understand that it's better to do something instead of shifting around in my bed?
caramelsilver: (omnia paratus)
well, I guess it only took four days to brake my own promise! I didn't post yesterday because I was so damn tired! I slept all day, so I never got to drag my tired ass to my computer.

I have watched the breakfast club twice, and I have to say that I love that movie! It's brilliant! I even recognized a quote that was used on Veronica Mars=) This movie has so many memorable quotes, and it's so funny too! I think I can almost the whole movie by hart know;P I have found some descent fan fiction too.

So beside the point that I'm dead tired and probably did to much this week, I'm happy! I found my a new obsession:P Something to do the next week, I have a feeling it wont be a good one:(
caramelsilver: (Luna)
Its raining! My head hurts and my muscles aches, and it's been raining all day. I would've been okay with that, its autumn and everything, if I didn't have to go out today. First walking my dog, (who's name is Sirius by the way!) then walking to the bus because nobody could drive me to treatment. Both times I got drenched, and now several hours later I haven't gotten my warmth back.

On a happier note: Today it's an other episode of Prison Break!! Yay, I can't wait to find out more... This season (I'm not sure which season it is, but they have gotten out of prison) are really exciting.

I have also finished watching seven seasons of Charmed, it only took me six months. I can't wait for the eight season to come out on dvd=)
caramelsilver: (you suck)
I'm so happy. My afternoons are saved. They have started to send Veronica Mars season 1 everyday at three! I almost haven't seen any episodes from this season! Now I don't have to bore myself to death=)

I'm still not getting better and its really frustrating.... My mum wants me to talk to a shrink, maybe that's a good idea? I'm not sure yet! Its nothing wrong with me or my head, I'm only sick!
caramelsilver: (you suck)
After being sick for two years straight, I have discovered that my sickness comes in waves. Sometimes I don't feel bad at all, like this summer f. eks. I were so optimistic then, hoping that it would soon be over and I could go to school every day!
So know I in a down wave, it has lasted for a week. My body hurts so much so I sleep all day, but then I can't sleep at night. This is the third night that I'm up. I'm starting to get quite depressed!
caramelsilver: (you suck)
This is a bad day, I have never had such a bad day in ages!! My head hurts, its pounding so bad I'm sure you could feel it if you touched my head. Not only do my head hurt, I have to wear sunglasses inside because the light are to strong for my head (and mind) to handle. Noise.. is a no,no! yeah, and it hurts to move, by the way!!!!
caramelsilver: (Default)
School? What's that? I heard its some kind of place were people go to learn stuff! Well I haven't been there in a while so I don't remember! No... kidding aside, I haven't been at school in nearly a year, so know that the new school year has started, and I have started at a new school. Its quite hard. First, I don't have all the knowledge that my classmates have. Second, I am still sick and I haven't the strength to go to school everyday.
I hate my sickness, it makes me tired after a little awhile...

So all I do is: eat, sleep, go to school, watch some TV, surf on the internet, and sleep some more!

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