Complete With a Water Slide

So I've been thinking. I need to get things together. I need to start focusing on school work, and stop focusing on a guy who clearly doesn't have any time for me. Because I don't think he doesn't like me, I just think that he clearly doesn't have any time left for a new person in his life, and he's just plain too nice to say so. So I'm pulling out. If he wants to see me, he'll contact me, and make time for me. It's that simple. I haven't done anything wrong, this is not my fault, but I can't do this any more. I have given him plenty of chances to hang out, made my level of interest pretty clear, and it's up to him now. I give up, because this emotional turmoil I go through every other day or so, is just too exhausting. I can't do this any more.


lovemoony4ever: YOU ARE SO AMAZING! I love my baby otter so much, and it really, really, really brightened up my day and made me immensely happy! &hearts &hearts

In the last year I have gotten a lot of new friends. And I realized that all my new shiny friends don't really know some (one) important stuff (thing) about me, because we became friends after it ended. Unless you did some lurking, then you won't get my references to my previous life.

Here's the thing: When I was fourteen I got sick. I had something called M.E or CFS= Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. It resulted in me being tired all the time, my muscles ached, my head was hurting all the fucking time and I could do absolutely nothing. This lasted for four years. For four years I didn't go to school, I almost didn't see my friends, and I did nothing of the things usual teenagers do.

All I did was sleep, eat, watch tv, read books and surf the internet. That's it.

When I discovered fanfiction in 2005, I had been sick for almost a year and it was a lifesaver. I cannot tell you how much fanfiction and fandom has meant to me the last five years. It cheered me up when nothing else did, it gave me something to do that didn't completely exhaust me. I could lie in my bed and still have fun! After a year of reading fanfiction, I started to write my own. When I joined LJ it was the most amazing thing ever. I got new friends who liked me for me, and didn't care that I was sick, because it wasn't an issue when it came to internet friendships. They encouraged me and made me laugh. This was at a time where I had no social life at all in RL. I had lost all my friends because I was no fun to be around. Only my best friend and a few amazing boys bothered to spend time with me. (Ironically I lost touch with the boys after I got well again!)

Then in 2008, I got well again. It happened so quickly, I did a course that completely cured me. And I started school again, I suddenly became fun again. If you go through the archives on my journal you can see a huge difference in my posts. They actually became fun to read. And I got a ton of new friends!

So now you know what I'm talking about when I say things like: “Trust me, I know being sick sucks.” or “When I was sick I...” or “WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT 2005!” This is also the reason why I'm still at school. Had I been a normal kid I should be travelling around the world, or be in the military or just studying at UNI. But I'm still at school, and I will sadly be for two more years.

Ask any questions you may have. I will gladly answer them=)

Oh, I'm having a good week. Like really, really good. And after the crap week that was last week, this is nice.

I saw Alice in Wonderland in 3D on Friday. Still not very impressed with the supposedly awesomeness that is 3D, but I didn't get a headache or anything. So yay for that, I suppose. The film itself was nothing to get all flaily over either. It was... okay. I liked the parts in England and then it just got... shiny and boring? The cat was awesome, though.

Do you all remember that week I had in the middle of February where had a test everyday? Well, I got my tests back and I got 5 on all of them! I am beyond proud of myself. Especially the History and Philosophy test. I was so sure I had royally fucked it up and he gave me a 5-!

Today I finished writing a personal essay about sports. Anyone who has paid any attention to my LJ the last month knows that I care about winter sports, so I'm feeling very confident in the topic. I've taken extra care on my language since I actually... kinda suck when it comes to writing in Norwegian. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for a good grade.

But dude! What's happened to isurrendered? It has gone almost completely dead! This makes me very sad, because it's my favorite LJ community by far!

So, flist has been kind of quiet lately. What's up with all of you? Are you doing ok?