Mind dump

Jan. 25th, 2010 05:45 pm
caramelsilver: (Pretty in Pink: Steff "Bitch")
* I am seriously struggling. I am like an emotional jojo: one day everything looks bright and I'm determined to turn my life around, and the next day I can barely get myself out of bed. What the fuck is wrong with me?

* In much cheerier news: [livejournal.com profile] grim_lupine wrote the most awesome Edlyn (girl!Edmund) ficlet for me. And it's awesome and you should go read it: There are things of which they do not speak.


* A random thought: I saw Sweeney Todd again and am I the only one who watches that movie and think: "Anthony and Johanna will never last!"? Because dude! She's a girl who just wanted to get away from her perverted guardian and he fell in love with a girl in a window! There's no fucking way that relationship is going to work!

* I swear a lot. Like... pretty bad actually. I mostly only swear in english, which makes it not so bad to the people around me... but lately I'm actually saying: Motherfuckingcocksuckingpieceofshit out loud. I used to only say it loudly in my head, but now I actually say it out loud and I've realised that that is not actually a good thing... Yeah, I am so messed up and I can't seem to be able to do anything about it! GAAAHHH!

* Also: I think I am going to join the military when I'm done with school. I think it would be good for me. Get some discipline, follow orders, get in shape, get to know new people from around the country... Yeah, I think I'd like that.
caramelsilver: (you suck)
In exactly one month I turn seventeen, which is really scary for some reason. I don't think it's that I'm turning seventeen, (being born in December its never cool turning anything, because a few weeks later people are turning one year older than me again!) I think it's because three weeks after I turn seventeen my best friend turn eight teen and that is a scary number! I'm not ready to be an adult. I know that there are many things that are fun by being legal, I can vote, drink, drive a car, but the thought of all the expectations people have. I haven't even finished eleventh grade, I'm not ready to be an adult!! I'm afraid that I'll still be sick and rely on my parents when all my friends have moved out and gotten jobs. I know that most people don't move out from their parents before they turn twenty, but eight teen is a big step closer and that scares the shit out of me.

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caramelsilver

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